Witness
by Dark Inzanity
Summary: Chapter 5 posted! This is AU, Sam Camden is all grown up and in lots of trouble He reflects on life, and makes a decision. Contains sensitive material that may be upsetting to some readers. Read at your own risk, but please R/R!
1. Default Chapter

Several months ago I posted a couple chapters of a story I called Witness. I took the story down due to lack of motivation, but I have a renewed interest in the story and am therefore reposting (Thanks to Hoedogg and Lucky Star for telling me you liked the story, you guys are the inspiration and I hope I can live up to your expectations this time out!). I have cut the prologue, in which Annie told three year old Sam and David that their father had died, because I used the prologue to start another story, The Road Home. So, this story picks up right in the middle of the action. The narrator, for anyone who didn't read the original Witness, or anyone who read and forgot, is Sam Camden, age 18. Chapter one as I am posting it now is the original chapter one and two, combined.   
  
  
Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me.   
  
I like dark fics. This story is going to be very dark. It starts with character death. Please don't flame me if you don't like it. (Constructive feedback is totally different, and greatly appreciated) I'm telling you now so you can make the choice to read it and I hope you do. So here it is...It comes with a read at your own risk warning. Some material may not be suitable for all readers.   
  
Please remember this is a work of fiction. All similarities to persons or events is purely coincidental. That said, it's time to begin.  
  
  
Witness  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
  
Chapter One  
Grand Rio, Texas (A fictional college town)  
2017  
  
"Come on, Cam," A foot jarred my bed, and my body. I moaned and kept my eyes shut against the assault. My bones still ached from last night and I felt like my head might explode if I moved suddenly. "Quit whining, you sissy. It's time to get up."  
  
"Shut up, Quinn," I shot back without lifting my head.  
  
Quinn yanked the pillow out from under my head and put it over me. I didn't even bother to protest, but I sat up when he took the pillow away. I tried to focus my eyes, but the room was spinning out of control. I cradled my head in my hands and fell back onto the pillow.   
  
Quinn kicked the bed again. "Ten minutes, sissy boy, or we leave without you."  
  
"Okay, okay." I sat up again and took several deep breaths to quiet the rumbling in my head. "Give me fifteen so I can take a shower."  
  
Quinn sniffed the air. "All right, but don't waste time fixing your hair."  
  
"Haha." I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Cold air chilled my body. I wasn't sure I could stand. I tried, and even though the room spun out around me, I managed to keep my balance long enough to get to the bathroom. I slammed the door and turned the lock and braced my hands on the sink.  
  
I couldn't bear to look at the face in the mirror. 'Who are you?' my mind screamed in silent disgust. It was me, but not me. A shell of me. A grotesque caricature of myself. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and turned away.  
  
I reached for the shower hoping the streaming water would drown out the sounds of puking.  
  
The shower felt good on my aching muscles, but did little to cleanse my soul. I walked back to my room naked and dripping wet. I dressed quickly, despite the nausea rising in my throat, and joined the others downstairs just under the fifteen minute time frame.  
  
Quinn patted me a little too rough on the shoulders. "Glad you could join us today, Cam," he smirked.  
  
I sighed and stole a glance upward with a silent prayer to get me through this day.   
  
  
  
  
  
*.~.*  
  
I watched in horror as Quinn and the others threw stones at the house. One by one they looked at me, expectantly. I dug my toe in the dirt, kicked at a rock. I bent to pick it up and hurled it at the house.   
  
Dear God, I didn't have a choice. If I didn't throw rocks at the house, Quinn wouldn't be able to stop the others from throwing the stones at me. That's why I did it. I had no choice, because I'm going to look out for number one always.  
  
That's how I got in this mess in the first place.  
  
I like to think I'm tough, and I can handle anything. Mostly that is true. Quinn just happened to witness one weak moment when I lost my will. I was on the ground, taking the beating of my life for nothing more than looking at a pretty girl, which pissed her boyfriend off. Quinn jumped the bastard and gave me the assistance I needed to get back on my feet.  
  
Next thing, the guy lay on the ground curled up in the fetal position, gasping for breath just as I had been before Quinn interfered. The difference was that guy was not going to get up on his own no matter who came along to help him.  
  
I read in the paper a few days later that he was transferred back home to West Virginia to recuperate. He nearly died, the article said. And he had no idea who attacked him. His girlfriend couldn't remember anything about the guys either, though she said she thought there were two assailants.  
  
Quinn took me under his wing after that. I moved out of the dorm and into the house where Quinn lived with six other guys. Quinn is the undisputed leader of the group, what he says goes, most of the time. Rick is Quinn's right hand man and has at times over ruled Quinn's authority. Rick tried to get Quinn to dump me on the side of the road, but Quinn refused and after a few left hooks to his face and gut, Rick backed down.  
  
Bobby, Marc, Kent, Jason, and Sam round out the others. There's already a Sam, which is why Quinn calls me Cam. My last name is Camden.   
  
I don't always agree with the things my roommates do, but I have to go along with them. Quinn's word will only hold them off so long, unless they quit questioning my loyalty to them.   
  
I wonder just how throwing rocks at some old lady's house is proving loyalty, but here we are, and throwing rocks at some old lady's house I am. I don't even know why. What did she do? She probably looked sideways at Rick or Jason when they went to the 7-11 last night.  
  
Most of her front windows were broken out. I hoped she had money to repair them. I wondered where she was, if she was home. Maybe huddled up in a corner or under a bed, trying to hide from an attack. I knew, if anyone decided to break in, there wouldn't be anywhere that woman could hide.  
  
I shouldn't have thought it.  
  
Rick whistled his dog-call whistle. "Let's go see what she's got that we might want." And of course everyone nodded eagerly, almost salivating with the prospect.  
  
Rick took Marc and Kent around back. Quinn, Bobby, Sam, and I headed for the front. I had no choice. I knew it by the glaring look Rick threw at Quinn before he went off, 'Keep Cam in line' it seemed to say.  
  
We walked hunched over, as if she didn't know we were out here already, and when we reached her front porch, Quinn put his finger over his lips. He tried the knob, it didn't give. That hardly stopped Quinn. He pushed his hand through the already broken window pane and unlocked the door by reaching in through the broken window.  
  
We met up with Rick and the others in the kitchen. Quinn gave out directions, telling each of us what room to search for valuables we could easily take. He said nothing of finding the old woman, and I wasn't sure if I should hope to find her and keep it quiet, or hope not to find her so I couldn't get busted for trying to help her. Because I would. I would try to hide her from the others.   
  
I managed to get away from everyone and used my cell phone to call 911. I gave them only the basic info and I hung up quickly before anyone could find me and catch me in the act. I thought my heart would pound out of my chest, but I did it. I called for help and I could only hope it would arrive in time. I hoped it was enough.  
  
It wasn't. Marc found her in the coat closet, buried under a pile of coats and blankets. He dragged her out and called for the others. I wanted to pretend I didn't hear, but I didn't want to end up on the receiving end of Rick's fury so I joined the others in the living room.  
  
I knew what Rick meant to do, and I prayed to God to help her. I couldn't stand up to Rick. Quinn was my only friend in this group, the others would over power him if Rick wanted to go after me. I just hoped I could hover unnoticed in the back ground.  
  
In the end it didn't matter. Rick had his way with her, and Quinn after him. Bobby was about to take his turn when Marc screamed "Cops!". The police had come without lights or sirens to tip us off, and they surrounded the house before anyone even knew they were there.   
  
Rick freaked out, running back and forth from one door to the other. I almost laughed at him. I would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so messed up but my ass was on the line too. And that was nothing to laugh about.  
  
*.~.* 


	2. Heading Home

Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me.   
  
The beginning of this chapter is a repost from the original chapter 2. After the *.~.* break, the story will be completely new.  
  
Don't forget the feedback/review!  
  
Witness  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
  
  
Chapter 2  
Going Home  
  
  
My mother flew in from California to pick me up from jail. I would have to come back to Texas to testify against Rick and the others, but because I agreed to finger them for the attack on the old lady and a few other crimes around the city, I would not have to stand trial.  
  
Rick vowed he would make me pay. Somehow. Someday when I least expected it. He would be there. And there would be no escape for me. I let his threats roll off my back. My mother posed a far worse obstacle at the moment.  
  
"Sam Camden, what were you thinking?" She demanded of me the moment we were alone. In the car, still in the police station parking lot.  
  
Old as she was, my mother still had a fire in her that could make my siblings quiver in their boots. I think that was one reason I wanted to go to college out of state.   
  
"You wouldn't understand." I knew better than that. Mom would never accept that answer. She would push and push and demand answers until I broke down and bared my soul to her.  
  
"Try me."  
  
I took a deep breath. I didn't know where to start. I told her about Quinn helping me when I got jumped. I told her I really liked Quinn and I didn't know what he was really like until it was too late. "I never wanted to do the things they did, Mom, and most of the time I didn't."  
  
"You did last night. That poor woman..."  
  
"I know, Mom. I'm sorry. I didn't want to do it."  
  
"Then why did you?"  
  
"Because they would have killed me if I didn't go along with it. You don't know these people, Mom. They do what they want, and you do it too or you get hurt."  
  
My mother gave me a narrow-eyed look that said she wasn't going to buy into that one.  
  
I sighed. "Fine. Believe me or don't. I don't care. I messed up. I'm going home with my tail between my legs. But I am alive. And that's almost more than I could have hoped for because I had no intention of raping that woman. I would have let them kill me before I did that."  
  
"Well, that is a relief."  
  
"Would it help if I told you I'm the one who called 911?"  
  
"Did you?"  
  
"Yes. That's why they offered me the plea bargain."  
  
And I took it. Despite Rick's threats. Despite the fear that Rick would come looking for me one day.   
  
*.~.*  
  
We drove to the airport in total silence. She didn't even turn the radio on. I reclined the passenger seat a bit and settled with my head against the window.   
  
I could feel her anger, and I didn't want to get her dander up any more than it already was. I expected she would keep it under control until we were safely home in Glen Oak. She would be on her best behavior on the plane, until we got in the car.  
  
I wasn't looking forward to the drive home, and I really wasn't looking forward to getting home. I wondered if anyone else knew what had happened, if David knew. I wanted to believe Davey didn't know, or he would have flown out to Texas with Mom.  
  
David used to be my other half. We were so much younger than the other kids. Matt got married and moved to New York the year we were three. Mary went to Ft Lauderdale later that year. Lucy and Kevin were married the year after that. Simon graduated and went to LA to be an actor two years after that, and Ruthie was eight years older than us, so we weren't close to her either.  
  
Mostly it felt like it was always just Davey and me against the world. Davey was bigger and stronger and more popular than me when we were in school. He took care of me and made sure no one really picked on me.   
  
I went to Texas to get out from under his shadow. I wanted to live my own life and find my own way in the world without David looking over my shoulder or leading the way.   
  
In the beginning, before I met Quinn, I missed David terribly. I started thinking I had made a terrible mistake, but I couldn't admit it. I couldn't go home with my tail between my legs. I had to keep my head up and get through the days, one day at a time, until winter break when I could go home for a month.  
  
I thought about transferring to a school closer to home for the spring semester, but Quinn came along, saved me from certain death, and took me under his wing. He filled the void I felt, and eased the longing for David. I didn't miss Davey so much, because Quinn took care of me, Quinn protected me just like Davey always did before.  
  
*.~.*  
  
  
That's all for now. It's midnight here and I have to get up early for school in the morning (had today off for MLK Day, yay!) so I better get my sorry self into bed. Please read and review this chapter, it means a lot. The first part is from the original posting, the second part is new material. Chapter three will deal with Sam's homecoming and possibly a little dream sequence where the breaking and entering turns out a little different in his mind-if I can work out the words to make it flow like I want, you won't want to miss it! 


	3. Home Coming

Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me.   
  
Don't forget the feedback/review!  
  
Witness  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
  
  
Chapter   
Home Coming  
  
The house looked the same from the outside, and I knew what to expect on the inside. Mom likes things a certain way. The furniture hasn't moved since the day we moved into the house.  
  
Davey and I were nine. Matt, Mary, Lucy, and Simon were long gone. Ruthie technically lived with us still. She had a room in the new house, but it was really just a place to keep her things. We never saw her. Davey and I felt like only children. Really we felt like orphans.  
  
In a way we were orphans. Dad had another heart attack, and stroke after that which left him partially paralyzed and unable to talk or feed himself too well. Mom tried to take care of him, but after a few weeks she put him in a nursing home. Ruthie took us to school and brought us home. She usually just dropped us at the door and we let ourselves in. Mom was never home, either with Dad or something.   
  
Davey and I used to talk about how the house felt like a prison. We were trapped there, until we were older. Ruthie could get out because she could drive. She worked after school to save up enough money to buy a car. I think Simon helped her, but she never said. She never talked to Davey and me. Aftr Dad got sick, Ruthie got real distant, like she couldn't stand to be around us anymore.  
  
I don't think it was us, really. She couldn't stand to be around the new house, which wasn't the house she grew up in, and Dad wasn't there. Ruthie was always closer to Dad. Mom was always a hard person to feel close to. She and Ruthie fought all the time, about everything from school to clothes and the friends Ruthie hung out with. Ruthie never brought her friends to the house, and neither did Davey or me.  
  
I never had many friends. Mostly it was just Davey and me against the world. Sometimes we felt like we were up against our mother as well as the world. But Davey had other friends. He talked to them on the phone, sometimes he even went to their houses. I never went anywhere. Until I went to college.  
  
I would never forget the looks on their faces, Mom and Davey, when I told them I was going to school in Texas. Mom looked like she wanted to cry, and Davey looked like I hat punched him in the stomach. I guess in a way that's exactly what I did. They both tried to talk me out of it. Surely I could still get on at Crawford and go to school with David. We could live at home another year or two...  
  
I'm not sure David ever forgave me for going away. Like I did it to punish him for some terrible crime he didn't even know he had committed. Davey never did a thing wrong. I didn't mind that he had friends, I didn't mind that he didn't always want to spend time with me. He always felt guilty about it. I could never make him understand sometimes I needed to be alone, away from him, out of his shadow.  
  
*.~.*  
  
I got out of the car slowly, as if I could delay the moment. This didn't feel like a homecoming. It felt like walking out to the gallows, or taking my place in front of a firing squad.   
  
Mom didn't offer to help me with my stuff. Not that there was much, and I didn't really even need any help. I took my time getting it out of the trunk. And then I went inside.   
  
The way the house was set up, we used the back door more than the front. I found myself in the kitchen, which looked exactly the same as it always did. Not a thing out of place, and the floor shined so bright it looked clean enough to eat off of.  
  
I trudged my way to the front of the house and up the stairs to my room. Davey's door was closed. I looked at it, at his 'Keep Out' poster, and I felt a strange pull in my gut. I wanted Davey to come out of the room and take me in his arms, hug me, and tell me it's okay, he would take care of me and everything would be okay, just like he used to.  
  
I shook my head at myself and went to my room. I dropped my stuff beside my bed. I caught my reflection in the mirror and just stood there staring, wondering who I was staring at. It looked like me, but I barely recognized myself. How had my life gotten so messed up? I never meant to get so far out of control.   
  
I closed my eyes and saw the house. I could hear the glass shattering as rocks flew through the windows. The Rick and Quinn talking through a plan of attack. Suddenly we were in the kitchen, and Quinn told me to search the master bedroom. I tried to protest, but Quinn silenced me with a look.  
  
I made my way to the stairs and creeped up to the top. Bobby and Sam followed, with their orders to search the other rooms. I knew Rick and Quinn stayed downstairs to make sure I didn't get out if I decided to try to make a run for it.   
  
"Sam." Mom's voice pulled me out of the memory. I opened my eyes and looked at her. She looked so old, and it seemed more lines had been etched into her face just since we came home. "I don't want to talk about what happened. Do you understand?"  
  
I nodded, what else could I do? I couldn't argue with her. No one ever won an argument with my mother. Better to keep my mouth shut and let her say her peace. And she did. She told me five times I was not to speak to anyone, except my lawyer, about my time in Texas.   
  
I sat down on the bed. Mom stayed on her feet near the door. I felt like I didn't know her anymore. I could see the same thoughts running around in her mind.   
  
"I'm going to be honest with you, Sam. I am so upset and disappointed right now I almost left you in that jail cell. Don't make me regret my decision to bring you home."  
  
She turned on her heels and walked out. I just sat there for a long time staring at the open door.   
  
*~.~*  
  
That's all for now. Please read and review so I know what you think. Thanks so much, I appreciate each and every review. :) 


	4. The Reunion

Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me.   
  
Don't forget the feedback/review!  
  
Witness  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
Chapter 4  
Minutes seemed like hours, like the clock wasn't moving at all. I lay on my bed, the bed of my childhood, once the bottom half of the bunk beds Davey and I used when we were younger. I could picture Davey so clearly leaning over the side of his bed, his eyes shining like the flashlight he pointed in my face. "Are you asleep?" He'd whisper, and I'd always answer "Yes." We would both laugh, then shush each other because we knew we would be in trouble if Mom heard us.  
  
I tried to keep my mind focused on memories like that, crazy things Davey and I used to do before we started to drift apart. Of course we didn't really start drifting apart until I announced my big plans to go to school in Texas instead of Crawford College where all my brothers and sisters had gone, except Simon who skipped out of college in favor of LA. But even he was close enough to drive home for a day if he really wanted to, of if Mom really wanted him to.  
  
Once I thought about going to school in Texas, I saw Quinn's face, then Rick, and inevitably the woman we had terrorized. Every thought I tried to follow seemed to lead right back there, to that house, that night, that woman. I saw the fear in her eyes, the pleading I could not answer because of my own fear.  
  
I managed to distract myself briefly with thoughts of death and dying-taking my own life to end the misery inside me. I thought about swallowing a bunch of pills out of Mom's medicine stock, but that seemed too girly, and too risky. Too much margin o error, if someone found me, and it would be Mom, she might find me in time to have my stomach pumped or something and I really couldn't stand to think of that. I imagined the scene, sitting in the bathtub, cutting both wrists with a kitchen knife, letting my pain flow like the blood. I'd heard the water would make the blood flow faster, brining a quicker death, but there would still be time to be found and 'rescued'.  
  
A gun would be the best, most accurate option, if I could get my hands on one. The only person I knew who had a gun was my brother-in-law Kevin. Kevin the cop. He had a nice little gun collection at the house. And I knew where he kept the bullets. The trick would be getting over there and getting to the bullets, and getting the right gun...   
  
I closed my eyes and projected the feel of the gun in my hand. I'd hold it up to my temple and-BANG-that would be the end of me. All she wrote. The big sleep. But...Could I do it? Even in my mind I cringed and felt a tingly sensation creep up my spine. Could I pull the trigger knowing it would be the last thing I ever did?  
  
Could the woman in Texas do it? Would she? She had more reason than me. She must feel as empty and dead inside as I did. Maybe worse, but maybe not. She had been the victim, but they had raped me as effectively as they had raped her. Her body, my mind. They had made me do things, I would never do on my own, things I would never think I would do at all. And if I could do those horrible things, why couldn't I kill myself?  
  
It would be easy. Load the gun, aim, and shoot. Nothing to it. No more Quinn, no more Rick, no more pain and disappointment reflected in my mother's eyes. No more nothing.   
  
I couldn't think about Mom or Davey or what my sudden death might do to them. Mom would blame herself and she might never get over it. I wondered if they would put her in the room with Dad at the hospital if she turned into a slobbering idiot like him.   
*.~.*  
  
Where were the cops? If they didn't get here soon...  
  
Pounding on the door, panic in my throat, throbbing like a twin heartbeat. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move.   
  
"Samuel!"  
  
How did she know my name?   
  
I sat up, breathing hard, my thoughts jumbled, my eyes unfocused. Where was I? My bedroom. Asleep. Dreaming. Mom on the other side of the door, screaming at me.   
  
"I'm...I'll be right there," I called back.  
  
I swung my legs over the side of the bed. I wasn't sure they would hold up when I stood. They did, and I made my way to the door, opened it.  
  
She did not look happy. "Dinner is ready."  
  
"Okay."  
  
She walked away. I followed.   
  
I didn't see him until I stepped into the kitchen, and my heart seemed to skip a beat at the sight. Davey! I felt an overwhelming urge to hug him, to hold on to him and never let go. The look on his face told me not to try it. 'Don't even speak to me, you disgusting piece of pond scum,' he seemed to say with one sweeping glance. 'You're not my brother. I don't even know you'   
  
I sat down at the table, across from him. He had looked up when I came into the kitchen, but kept his head down now, eyes on the plate in front of him. I mirrored him without meaning to, without knowing what else to do. I didn't dare speak to him, couldn't stomach the thought of him ignoring or verbally rejecting me.  
  
We ate in silence.   
  
"I'll leave you boys to do the dishes," Mom said as she stood up. And then she was gone.   
  
David stood, carried his plate to the sink. He stood there for a long moment, his back to me. It looked like he braced his arms on the counter, as if he needed it to hold him up. I thought of the gun, Kevin's gun. I was holding it to my temple in my mind. I closed my eyes. -BANG-  
  
After a minute I heard Davey take a deep breath. "What the hell happened to you out there?"  
  
I looked at him. Tears filled my eyes. I didn't want to cry, didn't want to be a sissy in front of Davey. "I don't know," I whispered. And the tears fell.  
  
David didn't move. He just stood there staring at me. And then he walked away, out the back door.  
*.~.*  
  
I'm going to stop there because I have to go to bed, and I hope this leaves the reader wanting more. Please read and review. 


	5. Sam's Decision

Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me.   
  
Don't forget the feedback/review!  
  
Witness  
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002   
Chapter 5  
  
I stood there in the kitchen and I watched him walk away. David. My brother, my twin. He had rejected me because of what I had done. Things I did not chose, but had no choice in doing.   
  
I didn't dare go after him. I couldn't. I couldn't explain what happened, couldn't justify any of it. Starting with the decision to go to Texas. None of this mess would have happened if I hadn't gone to Texas.  
  
I cleaned the kitchen, always hoping David would come back inside before I finished. I resisted the urge to look out the back door to see if he was even out there. I didn't want to know if he wasn't.  
  
I had lost him. He had rejected me and I didn't blame him. He would never be able to look at me again without remembering what I had done, what I had been a part of. That night, that one stupid night, defined who I had become. It made me who I was.   
  
There was only one choice left for me. Not even a choice really, but just one thing left for me to do.  
  
I didn't want to live without Davey. I couldn't live without him. I wouldn't.  
  
I took the biggest, longest, sharpest knife from the cutting block and headed up to my room. I sat at my desk and wrote a short note.  
  
i Dear Mom,  
I regret that you have to find me this way. I know there will be a mess and you will have a hard time cleaning it up. I am truly sorry, but I see no other way. My life is over, and I can not face another night knowing how you and Davey must feel. I have made a mess, I have disappointed you beyond forgiveness. Through it all I loved you and I pray for you that you will find peace somehow now that I am gone. I love you, Mom. Please tell the others I love them too.   
Love Sam i Dear Davey,  
All my life I looked up to you, and I didn't usually mind being in your shadow. You were my brother, my twin, my other half. We had good days and bad days, but always we talked about everything and we never went to bed angry. Tonight I felt your anger, your disappointment, your total lack of support. I don't blame you for any of it. I can't. I know I made a huge mistake, and I understand how you feel. I feel the same way, really. I hate myself, Davey. I hate that I went to Texas, I hated being so far from you and Mom and home. I did what I had to do to survive, and there isn't time to try to explain any of that. Just know I love you and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I has to be this way. Good bye, Davey.  
Love, Sam i  
  
I folded the two pieces of paper neatly and scribbled 'Mom' on the letter for her, and 'Davey' on the one for my brother. I left them both on my bed and I took the knife into the bathroom. I shut, and locked the door, turned on the shower.  
  
I couldn't wait on an opportunity to get Kevin's gun. Realistically it probably wouldn't happen anyway. Even if Mom and I went to Kevin and Lucy's house, I'd never be able to sneak away to Kevin and Lucy's bedroom to get the gun.   
  
I would just have to settle for cutting my wrists. In the end it wouldn't matter because the final result would be the same.   
  
I put the knife on the side of the tub while I took off my clothes. The water felt good when I stepped under its stream. I sat down in the tub and picked up the knife.   
  
The first contact stung and I almost cried out as I dug the blade deep. The blood flowed quickly, a rushing river of crimson. After I cut the other arm, I lay back, my arms at my sides to let the blood flow freely. I closed my eyes and thought about…nothing. Absolutely nothing.   
  
I felt good. There was no pain, just a warm, steady current pulsing through me. The end would be quick.   
  
There was no light, no grandma appearing to meet me and lead me through. Just a rising blackness, and I felt like I was swimming in it. The current was strong, and I didn't even try to fight it. I let it pull me under.  
  
Death wasn't so bad after all.  
*.~.*  
  
Well, what do you think? Depending n the response this may be the end of the story. So, put your thoughts and opinions in review and I'll see what happens after that… 


End file.
